Signs You Have an Unhealthy Relationship with Money (And How to Fix It)

You might not even realize it, but your relationship with money has a voice. It whispers things like:

“You should feel guilty for spending that.” “You’ll never have enough.” “You don’t deserve nice things.”

And even when you try to save or spend wisely, it never feels quite right. That’s not just “being bad with money”—it’s a sign of an unhealthy relationship with money.

What Does It Mean to Have an Unhealthy Relationship with Money?

Your money relationship isn’t just about budgeting or bills. It’s deeply emotional—shaped by your past, your upbringing, and your beliefs about worth, safety, and success.

If you've internalized fear, shame, or scarcity around money, it will show up in how you earn, spend, save, or avoid it.

Common Signs of an Unhealthy Relationship with Money

1. You Feel Guilt or Shame Every Time You Spend

Even on things you need—like groceries or a haircut—you feel a pang of guilt. It’s like you’re always “doing something wrong” with your money.

2. You Avoid Looking at Your Finances

Bills unopened. Budget apps are ignored. Bank statements unread. If checking your balance fills you with dread, you might be trying to avoid anxiety by pretending it’s not there.

3. You Tie Your Self-Worth to Your Bank Account

When you have money, you feel confident. When you don’t, you spiral into shame. Your mood rises and falls with your finances.

4. You Overspend to Cope Emotionally

Retail therapy. Online impulse buys. “Treating yourself” turns into a coping mechanism, and later, you crash with regret.

5. You Struggle to Invest in Yourself

Whether it’s therapy, a course, or a healthier mattress, you hesitate to spend money on things that would actually support your growth and well-being. Why? Deep down, you might not believe you’re worth it.

How to Heal Your Relationship with Money

1. Identify Where Your Money Beliefs Came From

What messages did you hear growing up? Were you taught that money was stressful, scarce, or tied to your value? Awareness is the first step to change.

2. Talk to Yourself Like a Financial Ally

Instead of judging your spending habits, get curious. Try saying:

“What need was I trying to meet here?” “How can I support myself more kindly next time?”

3. Practice Safe, Guilt-Free Spending

Pick small things you enjoy—coffee with a friend, a book, a yoga class—and spend without guilt. Prove to yourself that you can enjoy your money without spiralling.

4. Reframe Money as a Tool, Not a Scorecard

Money isn’t a reflection of your character, talent, or lovability. It’s a tool—one that should support your safety, rest, joy, and freedom.

5. Ask for Support (It’s Not Weak)

Whether it’s a therapist, a financial coach, or a friend who “gets it,” support helps you untangle old beliefs and build new patterns. You don’t have to do this alone.

Healing Your Money Story Starts with Compassion

You don’t need to be perfect with money. You just need to be aware, gentle with yourself, and open to rewriting your story.

You deserve to feel safe, confident, and in control of your finances. Not from hustle or fear, but from a place of self-trust.

Ready to Heal Your Relationship with Money (and Self-Worth)?

If money anxiety is weighing you down or keeping you stuck in shame, you're not alone. Book a free consultation today and start creating a money story rooted in empowerment, not fear.