Coping with the Holidays After Loss: A Guide to Grieving During Special Occasions

Holidays have a way of magnifying everything—joy, connection, nostalgia. But when you’re grieving, those same days can feel impossibly heavy. While the world celebrates, you might feel like you’re holding your breath just trying to get through.

Today is Canada Day—a time when many gather with friends and family for barbecues, fireworks, and long-weekend relaxation. But if you’ve lost someone, this day might not feel festive at all. Instead, it might stir up memories of who’s missing, or a deep ache for the way things used to be.

If you're navigating grief this holiday—or any special occasion—please know: there's no "right" way to feel. Here's how to gently support yourself through the waves.

Why Holidays Hurt After Loss

Special occasions mark time. They remind us of years past, of people we celebrated with, and of traditions that once felt comforting. But after a loss, those same markers can turn into sharp reminders of absence.

You might find yourself dreading the day, feeling pressure to “keep it together,” or pretending to enjoy things that just don’t feel the same. Grief doesn’t follow a calendar, and the emotional toll can show up in waves, often when you least expect it.

It’s Okay If You Don’t Feel Like Celebrating

There’s no rule that says you have to show up the same way every year. Skipping fireworks, staying off social media, or choosing solitude over socializing doesn’t make you ungrateful or antisocial—it makes you human.

Some people find comfort in keeping traditions alive. Others need to opt out or create new ones entirely. Either way, your grief gets to take up space.

Tips for Navigating Holidays While Grieving

Here are a few ways to care for yourself during holidays like Canada Day, or any time the world feels festive, but your heart feels tender:

• Give yourself permission to feel it all

  You might feel a mix of emotions—sadness, anger, numbness, even guilt for laughing or enjoying moments. This is normal. Grief is not linear, and no single emotion defines your healing.

  
  

• Plan ahead (if you can)

  Think about what feels supportive for you. Do you want company or quiet? Would a walk in nature help, or a comfort meal at home? Having a loose plan can ease the pressure of “figuring it out” in the moment.

  
  

• Honour your person (if that feels right)

  Light a candle, look through photos, and play their favourite song. Creating a small ritual can be a grounding way to keep their memory close without pretending everything’s fine.

  
  

• Say no without guilt

  It’s okay to decline invitations or leave early. You’re not obligated to make others comfortable by hiding your pain. Boundaries are an act of self-respect.

  
  

• Lean into support

  Whether it’s a trusted friend, a grief group, or a therapist, grieving alone can be exhausting. Sometimes just being able to say, “This is hard,” can lighten the load.

Why Grieving During “Happy Times” Can Feel So Isolating

When everyone around you is celebrating, it can feel like you’re the only one who’s struggling. But you’re not. Many people are quietly carrying grief through holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, and national celebrations like today.

What you’re feeling is valid—even if it doesn’t match the mood around you. You’re not being “too sensitive” or “bringing the mood down.” You’re being real in a world that doesn’t always know how to hold grief.

Finding Meaning in a New Way

Eventually, many people find that holidays become less about “getting through it” and more about making space for both loss and life. This doesn’t mean the pain goes away—but it softens. You learn to weave your grief into the day in a way that feels more manageable, more honest, more yours.

You Don’t Have to Navigate Grief Alone

If today feels especially hard—or if you’re tired of pretending you’re okay—know that support is available. You deserve care, gentleness, and a space where your grief can be held with compassion.

Book a free consultation today and let’s talk about how therapy can support your healing, at your own pace, in your own way.