How to Stop Feeling Guilty About Spending Money on Yourself

You finally buy something just for you—a nice meal, a new outfit, maybe a self-care service—and then it hits: that creeping, nagging guilt.

“Was that selfish?”Should I have saved that money instead?” “Did I really need that?”

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Many of us have internalized the belief that spending money on ourselves is wasteful, indulgent, or undeserved. But let’s be clear: taking care of your needs and desires is not a moral failure.

Let’s unpack where that guilt comes from—and how to stop feeling guilty for spending money on yourself.

1. Recognize Where the Guilt Comes From

Feeling guilty about spending money on yourself usually isn’t about the money—it’s about the meaning we attach to it.

Ask yourself:

• Did you grow up in a household where money was tight or treated like a source of stress?

• Were you praised for self-sacrifice or told to “be responsible” instead of enjoying things?

• Have you absorbed messages that rest, pleasure, or self-care must be “earned”?

Guilt thrives in silence. Naming the root helps loosen its grip.

2. Stop Viewing Self-Investment as Selfishness

There’s a huge difference between careless overspending and intentional investment in your well-being.

Buying a course to grow your skills, treating yourself to a massage after months of stress, or replacing your worn-out shoes isn’t “frivolous”—it’s care. It's maintenance.

You're not a machine. You're a human being with needs, comfort preferences, and limits.

3. Redefine What “Deserving” Means

If you believe you have to reach a certain goal, earn a specific income, or hit a productivity benchmark before you're “allowed” to enjoy your money, pause.

You don’t have to “earn” rest. You don’t have to “deserve” joy. You don’t need to prove your worth through deprivation.

You’re allowed to spend money simply because you want or need something. Full stop.

4. Budget for Joy, Not Just Survival

Sometimes guilt creeps in because we aren’t sure if we can afford what we’re spending. That’s valid.

But here’s a reframe: build joy into your budget.

Even a small “fun fund” or self-care category—$10 a week, $25 a month—can help reduce guilt and increase intentionality. When you plan for it, you’re telling yourself, “This matters, too.”

5. Remember: Taking Care of You Helps Everyone

Many people, especially caregivers and women, are taught to put everyone else first. But chronic self-neglect doesn’t serve anyone in the long run.

When you’re well-rested, emotionally supported, and cared for, you show up better for your job, relationships, and responsibilities. Prioritizing your well-being has ripple effects.

6. Practice Receiving Without Justifying

Next time you buy something for yourself, practice not explaining it away.

No: “I got it on sale!” “I haven’t bought anything in months!” “I’ll make up for it next week.”

Just: “I wanted it.” “I needed it.” “I’m allowed to have nice things.”

Let that be enough.

7. Get Curious, Not Critical

If guilt still shows up, that’s okay.

Try asking:

• “What am I afraid will happen if I spend this money?”

• “Whose voice is this—mine, or someone else’s?”

• “Is this guilt guiding me—or holding me back?”

Sometimes, we need to listen to our guilt with compassion to move through it, not shame ourselves for feeling it.

You're Allowed to Enjoy What You’ve Earned

Spending money on yourself isn’t irresponsible—it’s human. And when it’s done with care and intention, it’s an act of self-respect.

You’re not behind. You’re not bad with money. You’re just learning to prioritize you—and that’s worth celebrating.

Ready to Heal Your Relationship with Money and Self-Worth?

If you're tired of feeling guilty for every purchase and want to create a more balanced, compassionate relationship with money, you're not alone and don't have to do it alone.

Book a free consultation today to explore how therapy can help you unlearn shame, build self-trust, and make space for joy in your life again.