How to Handle Grief That Comes in the Middle of Joy

Maybe you’re at a wedding, laughing with friends, or blowing out candles on your birthday cake—and suddenly, a wave of grief rises in your chest. Your heart aches for the person who isn’t there, or for the life you once imagined.

It can feel confusing, even disorienting. How can I feel both happy and heartbroken at the same time?

But here’s the truth: grief and joy often walk hand in hand. Having both emotions doesn’t mean you’re doing grief “wrong.” It means you’re human.

Why Grief Shows Up in Joyful Moments

Grief is tied to love. So when love is heightened—during milestones, celebrations, or moments of connection—grief can come forward, too.

A few common reasons this happens:

• Anniversaries & milestones. Birthdays, holidays, or achievements can highlight absence.

• Transitions. New jobs, moves, or relationships can bring up grief for the old chapter you’ve left behind.

• Love as a trigger. Feeling joy can remind your heart of who or what you’ve lost, because love and loss are deeply connected.

Instead of being a disruption, grief showing up in joy is often a reflection of how much the person or chapter mattered.

How to Navigate Grief in Joyful Spaces

You don’t need to suppress grief to protect joy, or push joy away because grief feels too strong. Both can coexist.

Here are some gentle ways to hold them together:

• Name it. Simply acknowledging—I’m feeling grief right now—can reduce the confusion of mixed emotions.

• Give yourself permission. Step outside for a breath, cry in the bathroom, or let yourself smile through tears. There’s no “wrong” way.

• Honor the memory. Light a candle, wear something meaningful, or silently dedicate the moment to the person you miss.

• Lean on safe people. If you’re with someone who understands, let them know grief has shown up so you don’t feel alone in carrying it.

• Ground yourself in the present. If the wave feels overwhelming, come back to your breath, notice the sounds around you, or feel your feet on the ground.

The Both/And of Human Experience

You don’t have to choose between grief and joy. They can sit at the same table, even if it feels messy. The presence of grief doesn’t erase your joy, and joy doesn’t mean you’ve forgotten your loss.

In fact, being able to hold both is a sign of healing. It means your heart is expanding to make room for the complexity of life.

If you’re finding it hard to carry grief in the middle of joyful moments, you don’t have to navigate it alone. We offer a free 15-minute consultation where you can explore whether therapy feels like the right support for you.