What Is a Shadow Self And Why Ignoring It Makes Anxiety Worse?
- Fika Mental Health
- May 28
- 3 min read
Have you ever caught yourself reacting more strongly than you “should” to something small—like someone cancelling plans or giving you feedback at work? Or maybe you find yourself overthinking, spiralling with anxiety, and you can’t quite explain why.
Often, this isn’t random. It’s your shadow self showing up.
The shadow self is a term from psychologist Carl Jung, and while it might sound a little mysterious, it’s actually something we all have. Think of it as the parts of you that you’ve pushed down—your anger, shame, jealousy, or even hidden talents and desires that you were told weren’t “acceptable.”
When these parts of you stay hidden, they don’t just disappear. They show up in other ways—through anxiety, overthinking, self-sabotage, or constant stress.
What Is the Shadow Self?
Your shadow self is essentially your unconscious “storage room.”
It holds:
Suppressed emotions like anger, sadness, or fear.
Rejected traits you’ve been taught are “bad” (like being assertive, emotional, or vulnerable).
Unacknowledged strengths that never had space to grow.
For example, if you grew up in an environment where expressing anger wasn’t safe, you might have learned to shove it down. But that anger doesn’t go away—it leaks out as irritability, anxiety, or even physical tension.
The shadow isn’t about being “bad.” It’s about being human.
Why Ignoring the Shadow Fuels Anxiety
When we deny these hidden parts of ourselves, our mind and body stay stuck in conflict.
Here’s how it plays out:
Suppressed Emotions Leak Out
Pushing feelings down doesn’t erase them—they resurface as racing thoughts, tension, or sudden outbursts.
Your Nervous System Stays on Edge
When parts of you feel unsafe or unwanted, your body stays in a low-level fight-or-flight state. That constant alertness feeds anxiety.
Shame Gets Stronger
Ignoring the shadow often turns into self-criticism: “Why do I feel this way? What’s wrong with me?” That shame loop intensifies anxious thoughts.
You Lose Inner Alignment
Without acknowledging the shadow, you live in fragments. And living fragmented often feels like walking around with an invisible weight.
Signs You Might Be Avoiding Your Shadow Self
You’re easily triggered in situations that don’t seem “big enough” to justify your reaction.
You notice repeating anxiety patterns despite lifestyle changes.
You overanalyze yourself, feeling like you’re never “good enough.”
You constantly people-please or seek external approval.
You feel disconnected from your own needs or desires.
If this sounds familiar, you’re not broken—you’re human. It just means your shadow is trying to be seen.
How to Begin Working With Your Shadow
Working with the shadow isn’t about eliminating parts of yourself—it’s about integration.
Here are gentle, trauma-informed steps to start:
Practice Compassionate Curiosity
Instead of judging your reactions, try asking: “What is this part of me protecting? What does it need?”
Notice Triggers Without Blame
When something sets you off, write it down. Over time, patterns will emerge that point back to shadow parts you’ve hidden.
Engage in Creative Expression
Art, writing, or even movement can help you safely express what words can’t capture. Creativity often gives the shadow a voice.
Seek Support in Therapy
Exploring the shadow can feel overwhelming alone. A therapist can help you unpack these hidden parts in a safe, validating way.
Integrate, Don’t Eliminate
The goal isn’t to “get rid of” your shadow. It’s to embrace it—because those hidden parts, once acknowledged, can become sources of resilience, strength, and clarity.
Embracing Your Whole Self
Here’s the truth: your shadow self isn’t here to hurt you—it’s here to guide you. Anxiety often becomes a signal, pointing toward the places within you that are asking for attention and compassion.
When you stop ignoring your shadow and instead meet it with curiosity, you begin to heal. You start to feel more whole, more grounded, and less at war with yourself.
If you’re tired of battling anxiety and ready to explore your shadow self in a supportive space, book a free consultation today. Together, we can create a path toward healing that helps you reclaim the parts of yourself you’ve been carrying in silence.
