Why Grief Makes You Forget Things

If you’ve ever walked into a room and immediately forgotten why, missed appointments you’d normally remember, or felt like your brain is running on empty, you’re not alone. Many people are surprised when grief affects their memory. But forgetfulness during grief isn’t a personal failing. It’s a very real response to loss.

How Grief Impacts the Brain

Grief isn’t just emotional—it’s neurological. When you’re grieving, your brain is under significant stress. Elevated stress hormones like cortisol can interfere with the hippocampus, the part of the brain responsible for memory and learning.

That’s why you may find yourself:

• Forgetting conversations you just had.

• Struggling to concentrate at work.

• Losing track of tasks or deadlines.

• Feeling like your brain is “foggy.”

Your brain isn’t broken—it’s overwhelmed.

The Emotional Weight Behind Forgetfulness

Part of the reason memory feels shaky during grief is because your mental energy is being redirected. So much of your inner world is focused on processing loss, managing emotions, and simply surviving day to day. There’s less energy left for things like remembering small details, planning ahead, or multitasking.

And while society often praises productivity and sharpness, grief naturally slows you down. Forgetfulness is just one way your body signals: “I can’t do everything right now.”

Practical Ways to Cope With Grief-Related Forgetfulness

You don’t need to “push through” memory lapses—you can support yourself with tools that take the pressure off:

• Externalize your memory. Use sticky notes, reminders on your phone, or keep a simple planner for daily tasks.

• Simplify routines. Try to keep meals, sleep, and exercise (if possible) consistent—this supports both your body and memory.

• Give yourself permission. Instead of shaming yourself for forgetting, remind yourself: this is part of grief.

• Lean on support. Ask a friend to send reminders, share responsibilities, or help with logistics when you feel scattered.

• Check in with your body. Memory lapses can be worsened by exhaustion, dehydration, or skipped meals. If you’re unsure whether physical symptoms are connected to stress or something else, it may help to consult our nurse practitioner or dietitian.

You’re Not “Losing It”—You’re Grieving

If you’ve been feeling forgetful while grieving, it doesn’t mean you’re failing or falling apart. It means your brain and body are adapting to one of the hardest human experiences.

Over time, memory tends to improve as grief softens. But in the meantime, you deserve compassion and tools that make life a little easier.

If you’d like a safe place to process your grief and the ways it’s showing up in your daily life, we offer a free 15-minute consultation to see if therapy feels like the right support for you.