How to Set Boundaries With Yourself (Because You Need Them Too)

We often think of boundaries as something we set with others—like saying no to a friend’s request or turning down extra work. But what about the promises you break to yourself? Staying up late when you promised rest, checking your phone when you swore you’d be present, skipping meals or pushing past burnout even though your body asked for a pause?

These moments matter, too. And just like relationships with others, your relationship with yourself needs boundaries to thrive.

What Does It Mean to Set Boundaries with Yourself?

Setting boundaries with yourself means defining limits that protect your own well-being—even when no one else is involved.

It’s about:

• Honouring your needs, even when no one’s watching

• Holding yourself accountable without shaming yourself

• Creating an internal structure that supports your mental health

• Saying “no” to urges that drain you, and “yes” to habits that replenish you

Examples of Boundaries You Might Need with Yourself

• Sleep boundaries:

  Logging off and going to bed when you say you will

  
  

• Work boundaries:

  Sticking to work hours instead of endlessly checking emails

  
  

• Technology boundaries:

  Limiting scrolling when you know it leaves you drained

  
  

• Emotional boundaries:

  Not overthinking or replaying conversations that already happened

  
  

• Rest boundaries:

  Allowing breaks before you crash—not after

How to Start Setting Boundaries with Yourself

1. Notice where you feel drained or resentful

That’s often a sign that your internal limits are being ignored. Do you feel exhausted after binge-watching? Regret skipping meals or rest? These are good places to start.

2. Set small, clear commitments

Start with one area. Instead of “I need to get my life together,” try: “I will stop working by 7 pm three nights this week.”

3. Treat yourself with both compassion and firmness

It’s not about punishment—it’s about care. You wouldn’t scream at a friend for slipping up; offer yourself that same grace. But also follow through. Show yourself you’re someone worth protecting.

4. Create structure to support the boundary

That might mean putting your phone in another room, using reminders, or asking someone to check in. Boundaries don’t need to rely on willpower alone.

5. Celebrate when you keep a boundary

Keeping a promise to yourself—no matter how small—is a powerful act of self-trust. Recognize that win. Let it build momentum.

Boundaries with Yourself Are a Form of Self-Respect

You don’t have to wait until you burn out to change. Boundaries aren’t about control—they’re about freedom. They help you show up as the version of you that’s aligned, grounded, and whole.

And that version of you? Deserves to be supported.

Ready to explore boundaries and self-trust with a therapist? Our team offers compassionate support for people learning to care for themselves in deeper ways. Book a free consultation today and take the next step toward your healing.