How Trauma Shapes the Way You React to Authority Figures

Have you ever felt your heart race before talking to a boss, professor, or even a doctor, even when you’ve done nothing wrong? For many people with a history of trauma, authority doesn’t just represent guidance — it represents danger.

If you grew up in environments where authority was unpredictable, dismissive, or punitive, your body might now react to power dynamics as though your safety is on the line. You might freeze, over-explain, apologize excessively, or avoid conflict altogether.

This isn’t about being “too sensitive.” It’s your nervous system remembering what power once meant.

The Science Behind Power and the Nervous System

When trauma involves an imbalance of power — such as a parent, teacher, or partner who used control or intimidation — your body learns to associate hierarchy with threat. Over time, this activates a survival response any time you sense someone has authority over you.

Here’s what that might look like in adulthood:

• You feel anxious or small in work meetings.

• You avoid asking questions at the doctor’s office.

• You overcompensate to seem “perfect” around your boss or professors.

• You shut down emotionally when someone takes on a leadership role.

These reactions don’t mean you’re weak — they mean your nervous system is trying to keep you safe from a danger that no longer exists.

Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn in Power Dynamics

Different people respond to authority in different ways, depending on their trauma history and nervous system patterns:

• Fight: You challenge or reject authority because it feels unsafe to be controlled.

• Flight: You avoid contact with authority figures altogether to stay “safe.”

• Freeze: You shut down or go blank during interactions.

• Fawn: You over-please or agree with everything to prevent conflict.

These are automatic survival strategies, not choices. The goal in therapy is to help your body learn that not all authority means danger — and that you now have control.

Healing Your Relationship With Authority

Rebuilding safety in these dynamics takes time, compassion, and body awareness.

Some helpful places to start:

• Notice your physical cues. Does your chest tighten or your stomach drop around authority? This awareness helps you catch your body’s response early.

  
  

• Ground yourself before important interactions. Try slow breathing, stretching, or feeling your feet on the floor.

  
  

• Reframe the narrative. Instead of “they have power over me,” try “I can hold my own while staying true to myself.”

  
  

• Practice small acts of voice. Ask a clarifying question or express a mild disagreement — gentle ways to teach your body that you can assert yourself safely.

Our therapists can support you in exploring the roots of these reactions and gently reprogramming your nervous system for a more balanced sense of safety and confidence in relationships with authority.

If these dynamics have affected your eating, sleep, or health, our dietitian or nurse practitioner can also help address the physical side of stress and trauma.

You’re Not Overreacting — You’re Remembering

What feels like “overreacting” is often your nervous system’s attempt to protect you from something that once felt life-altering. With the right support, you can teach your body that safety doesn’t depend on shrinking, pleasing, or staying silent.

Book your free 15-minute consultation today to connect with one of our clinicians and start feeling grounded — even in the presence of authority.