How to Spot Fake Friends vs. True Supporters: What You Need to Know
- Fika Mental Health
- Oct 22, 2024
- 4 min read
Friendship is meant to be a source of support, love, and shared memories. But not all friends are created equal. Some may bring positivity into your life, while others may drain your energy or cause you emotional harm. How do you know when someone is a true supporter—or when they’re a fake friend?
In this blog, we’ll dive into the key differences between fake friends vs. true supporters, how to spot the red flags of toxic friendships, and how to build genuine, healthy connections that truly uplift you.
Why Recognizing Fake Friends vs. True Supporters Can Be So Difficult
When it comes to friendships, we don’t always want to face the truth. It can be difficult to accept that someone you once considered a close friend might be contributing to your emotional exhaustion. Fake friends often disguise themselves as supportive individuals, only to reveal their true nature over time.
True supporters, on the other hand, offer unconditional love, encouragement, and respect. But recognizing the difference isn’t always easy, especially when you’ve invested a lot of time and energy into a friendship.
Let’s break down the signs to help you distinguish fake friends vs. true supporters.
Red Flags: How to Spot Fake Friends vs. True Supporters
Fake friends tend to have a few common traits. Here’s how you can tell if you’re dealing with someone who isn’t as supportive as they seem:
Fake Friends vs. True Supporters: The Key Differences
They only reach out when they need something.
Fake friends often disappear when you need them, only reappearing when they want something from you. True supporters, however, check in on you even when things are going well in their own lives.
Your success makes them uncomfortable.
A fake friend may downplay your accomplishments or make you feel like your success threatens them. In contrast, true supporters are your biggest cheerleaders, celebrating your achievements with genuine happiness.
They gossip about others... and probably you too.
If someone regularly talks behind people’s backs, it’s a red flag. True supporters won’t gossip about you or others. They’ll build you up in public and private.
They disappear when things get tough.
Fake friends may avoid you when you’re facing a tough time. They might give excuses for their absence or be too "busy" to lend support. True supporters will show up, listen, and offer help when you need it most.
They don’t respect your boundaries.
A fake friend might pressure you into doing things you’re uncomfortable with. True supporters understand and respect your boundaries, even if it means inconvenience to them.
You feel drained after spending time with them.
Fake friendships often leave you feeling exhausted, anxious, or undervalued. In contrast, true supporters make you feel energized, understood, and loved.
Why Do We Hold Onto Fake Friends?
Letting go of a toxic friendship can be difficult, but it’s necessary for your mental and emotional well-being.
Sometimes, we hold onto fake friends for reasons such as:
Nostalgia: You may have shared great memories with them, making it hard to let go, even if the friendship no longer serves you.
Fear of confrontation: It can be uncomfortable to confront someone about their toxic behaviour, so we stay in unhealthy friendships longer than we should.
People-pleasing tendencies: You might feel obligated to maintain the friendship to avoid feeling guilty or letting the other person down.
Despite these reasons, remember that maintaining fake friends at the expense of your own happiness isn’t worth it.
How to Cultivate True Supportive Friendships
The key to a fulfilling social circle is to actively seek out and nurture true supporters. These are the friends who will lift you up, challenge you to grow, and stand by you when times are tough. Here’s how to call in more real connections:
Fake Friends vs. True Supporters: Building Lasting Friendships
Get clear on your values.
Think about what you need from a friendship. Is it trust, fun, emotional support, or shared interests? Knowing this will help you align yourself with people who are true supporters.
Be authentic.
Open up and show your true self. Vulnerability can be a gateway to forming deep, meaningful connections with people who value you for who you are.
Set boundaries.
Be clear about what you’re willing to tolerate and what you won’t. A true friend will respect your limits without taking offence.
Invest in mutual relationships.
A healthy friendship is a two-way street. Cultivate connections where both people are invested in giving and receiving love, respect, and support.
Don’t settle for less.
If a friendship consistently leaves you feeling drained, unsupported, or undervalued, it may be time to step back. Prioritize people who make you feel safe, valued, and appreciated.
Moving Forward: Building a Strong Circle of Support
Spotting the difference between fake friends vs. true supporters is crucial for maintaining your mental and emotional well-being. Surrounding yourself with people who genuinely care about your growth and happiness can lead to a more fulfilling life.
Take the time to evaluate your friendships and make sure they align with your values.
By recognizing red flags early on and investing in healthy, balanced connections, you’ll be able to foster friendships that nourish you and help you thrive.
If you're struggling with toxic friendships or need support in building stronger connections, we’re here to help. Book a free consultation today and take the first step towards cultivating a supportive and positive social circle.
